(c) Breeze Vincinz
This is going to be my entry into the "It Does Get Better Campaign", despite the fact it might be over with by the time this gets published. Nevertheless, I still wanted to say a little something about gay teen suicides and speak to those teenagers who are questioning their sexuality and are having such a hard time coping with their peers during this time.
I was talking about the "It Does Get Better Campaign" with a friend of mine. I was thinking about the idea of "it getting better". Honestly, I guess I question the idea of it getting "better" and is it a level of delusion that we want to promote. In one aspect I think we definitely should tell teenagers, "You know what, you're a teenager; the world is kind of microscopic at this point. But it is bigger, and it is better." I know when I was a teenager, when I was 15 or 16, my world was just High School and I didn't think anything existed outside of it. My thought was that the people who were fucking with me at 15 or 16 were always going to exist, they were always going to fuck with me and I was never going to get out of that situation. And truth of the matter is, I think this should be a campaign of, "Dude, once you graduate, seriously, you never have to see those fools… ever again in your entire life. " I can tell you, honestly, I am 39 years old, I have not seen those people since I graduated. You hear me? You never have to see them, ever again. I think that alone should give you some inspiration to keep going because once you graduate it's a done deal. So just get through the next couple of years.
But you should realize that there's always going to be some queen on the rag that's going to be around to fuck with you. There's always going to be somebody around to call you a faggot or a dyke or a nigger or whatever… there's always going to be someone around to fuck with you. And you just have to have the wherewithal to get through it. You have to understand that everybody has a purpose. And with that, YOU have a purpose.
I remember when I was a teenager. My parents divorced really early on, like when I was in Kindergarten. My father went on to remarry a couple of times. I remember just going through so much turmoil as a teenager. There was so much stuff going on, my brother was going through his drama, my mom was going through some pretty serious and traumatic physical issues, I was going through my mental crap and trying to figure if I like dudes or not… the whole excursion was just very harrowing. I remember one fateful night I wound up talking with one of my stepmoms who at this point had divorced my dad. I also at this point hadn't spoken to this woman in almost a decade. But through some weird twist of fate, I wound up talking to her. I was always under the impression that she didn't like me, and remember telling her just that. And I remember her response being something on the level of, "Why would you think that? I love you. I'm not with your dad anymore but I still love you." And I remember when she said "I love you", a little tear welled up in the corner of my eye. At the time, the words "I love you" were foreign to me. I haven't heard those words since I was a toddler. I remember at 15 or 16, that's all I ever wanted. I just wanted someone to say that they loved me. And I think it's something that, as a teenager, you need to hear sometimes. I think some people don't think teenagers care about that stuff, it's too airy fairy, but I think all teenagers need to hear that.
Now mind you, I always truly believed my mother and father loved me. But as for actually saying it, that never really happened. I think that they thought I was strong enough to sort of go through life without actually having to physically hear it. And while I consider myself to be a fairly strong person, the truth of the matter is, I really do enjoy it when people say that they love me. It definitely gives you strength and a peace of mind that I think helps you. Particularly if you are a teenager who is going through the sexuality gymnastics of trying to figure out what do you like and who you are. You need to know that it's ok. And you need to know that… you're not going to hell. Or if you are going to hell, it's going to be for stuff that's so much worse than sucking dick or eating pussy.
But I digress. I just want to take this time to tell you, Mr. Penis Inclined Teenager, Ms. Vagina Inclined Teenager, if nobody ever told you before, honestly, seriously… I love you. I love you, stick around, there is so much more game to play. These people that are fucking with you, you're never going to see them again… and you've got so much more other stuff to do!
Keep in mind though, while there's going to be some good stuff coming up, there is going to be some bad stuff coming up too. I can't tell you that it gets better. But what I can tell you… is that YOU will. So stick around. And hopefully, once you get old enough, I totally get you a beer.